Hi Friends!
This is the inside front cover of the book. To me it epitomises being fully present in the moment. Like a child dancing in the woods I am learning that I can find peace and joy even in the darkest of situations.
Once again it’s been a while since my last post – sorry about that!
I’ve got loads of exciting news to share about the book so I’ll give you two options. If you’re in a rush and just want the straight facts, read the bullet points below. If you want to know about the journey behind the facts – the extended version follows.
Here goes....
I have received an incredibly generous donation which means I now have the funds to self-publish the book!!!
I have sent out the book to a number of people that I don’t know to give me some honest feedback on their reaction to and thoughts about the book.
We are in the process of doing a final edit so the book will hopefully be ready to go to print within the month!
Here’s the low-down on what’s been happening the last couple of months:
So about a month ago I woke up to an email saying that a friend had just deposited $6,000 into my bank account! I emailed immediately to check that this wasn’t a mistake and to find out what the heck was going on! I got the following in reply: “We haven’t told anyone but we inherited some money that came through yesterday and instead of just tithing some of it we felt to give some money to causes we believed in; and that was your book. I think it will impact so many people, help people who are sick; but also help those who find it so hard to understand to have a glimpse in to the mind of the mentally ill. Your book needs to be published! Thank you for helping me through one of my toughest times and being understanding and non-judgmental and for doing the same for others!”
Wow.
I think it is so beautifully poetic that the money I need should come from someone connected to me – someone who I have walked alongside – someone who has helped me to understand the ‘voices’ in this book. It has come from relationship. Exciting Eh?
So I had the money a month ago. Why isn’t the book published you may well ask!? This part has been a real process!
Shortly after the money arrived I found myself procrastinating. Avoiding the project. Being too busy to focus on it. It was very subtle but I finally managed to admit it to myself. I don’t know whether you know or not but procrastination is always fear based. So I sat myself down and asked myself what was going on. As it turns out there were two things worrying me. The first was this: Is the project ready for printing? Is it finished? This book has been such a process of growth and change. I was concerned that if I jumped into printing it straight away I might be going ahead with something that wasn’t quite ready. I was aware that this kind of thinking could be a bottomless pit of never getting anything finished; but when I actually examined my feelings about the whole thing I had to admit that there were some aspects of the book that I felt weren’t quite right. SO I did something about it. I sent the book off to people I didn’t know with a very specific set of questions for them to answer. These people were fantastic in giving me honest and very relevant feedback. While it’s been a bit of a harrowing process; I now feel I have the direction I need to get the project 100% ready for print. YUSS!
I have also come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be able to please everybody – and I’ve just got to go ahead with what I believe is right for me to do and say.
The second part of my procrastination was definitely fear-based. I was worried about what the publishing of this book might mean for my nice, comfortable little life. Like any step into the unknown, I was worried about the “what if’s.” What if it doesn’t work? What if it works? What if people don’t like the book? What if loads of people like it and then I have to take more steps out of my comfort zone? I know that the process of self-publishing takes a lot of self-promotion. I’m getting better at standing up and talking to people; but I’m definitely not a natural extrovert and find the thought of having to promote myself is more than a wee bit unnerving!
In the end I had to take a piece of my own advice. I took a Selah. I paused, breathed and brought my mind back to the present. I took myself to spiritual direction and got rid of lots of the mental clutter in my head. I accepted what I couldn’t change then made some positive decisions and worked out practical steps to accomplish the things I could. By no means am I comfortable with the whole process – but I’m gunna do it anyway!
The end result from facing my procrastination for me is excitement. I’m excited about the project again! I’m excited to see it finished. I’m excited about what it might bring.
Right now I’m in the final stages of editing and getting everything ready for print. I’m also trying to re-design the Selah introduction page to make it more explanatory and interactive for the reader. I’m giving myself the deadline of a month to get everything done that I need to get done. Hopefully I should have everything sorted by then – the rest depends on the designer and the printer. I’m praying I’ll have a beautiful book to hand you very soon.
Thanks so much to all those continuing to support and encourage me on this journey!
Much love,
Lexi x