Ice Breaker

Hi Everyone, I hope you had a fantastic weekend!

Today I realized that not only was I meant to be writing a blog post; I was also meant to be writing a 4-7minute icebreaker speech for Toastmasters tonight. So once I got over the panic of that - I finally figured that I could 'kill two birds with one stone' and inflict my speech on my blog readers! If you don't know about Toastmasters - it's an organisation that helps you learn to speak publicly with confidence (something I definitely need!). An Icebreaker is the first speech you have to do in the course. It's designed to help introduce yourself to the group and tell them about yourself. So here we go!

"Good Evening, Mr Toastmaster; fellow Members and Guests.

What do abseiling out of a helicopter, a crazy sheep named Theodore, scuba diving with whale-sharks and the journey from emotional pain to hope have in common? The answer, is me.

I’ve got five minutes to tell you a bit about me – so I thought I’d carry on with the picture theme from last meeting to help me do this.

Abseiling out of a helicopter is about adventure. I love anything “outdoorsy” and used to volunteer for Civil Defence and Search & Rescue. I have these great memories of blasting around in a huge air force Iroquios helicopter and getting dropped in the bush to look for lost hikers. I grew up in West Auckland: (building huts, climbing trees and skateboarding with the neighbourhood tribe of kids), so I’ve always loved anything to do with being outside – especially if it involved doing something slightly risky!

In life I’ve learned that giving it a go is much better that being great at something. Saying “yes” to a new experience (not without fear of course) and giving it a go (even if I’ll never do it again) has taught me so much! It's also given me some pretty amazing experiences with some fantastic people in various locations around the globe.

Theodore Spotty Dots is an orphaned lamb that we rescued. He represents my love of animals – as well as my seeming inability to set any boundaries with them! We bottle fed Theo until he was weaned; but by then he thought he was a human – and therefore fully entitled to barge into the house and sit on the couch. Not ideal. Luckily now he’s much too fat to squeeze his way through the fence anymore, so my couch – and my garden are safe. Animals have always been very important to me. They help me to feel peaceful and grounded in the moment (except, of course when I’m screaming at them for trampling my garden and peeing behind the curtains).

Scuba Diving with Whale Sharks is a dream for the future. It represents my love of nature and adventure; but also my concern for our planet. I’d love to do this – gliding along beside these beautiful giants! Wouldn’t that be incredible??

But the thought of them slowly being wiped out by overfishing and pollution makes my guts hurt. Did you know that pieces of plastic outnumber sea life in our oceans now by about 6-1? And that each piece of plastic takes about a million years to biodegrade? Even recycling doesn’t get rid of it – it just makes it smaller (and easier for these beautiful animals to ingest!)

Alright, Breathe……Rant over…….(But PLEASE try and minimise your use of plastics – and dispose of them carefully when you are done with them!)

The Journey from Emotional Pain to Hope represents my job as a counsellor; and also this book that I have written. I am passionate about helping people to move from places in their lives where they are stuck in cycles of pain, repetitive negative thoughts and behaviour. The tag line on my business card says “Unlock your Potential.” I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but I honestly believe that there are people everywhere walking around holding onto grief and pain and hurt and shame that they don’t need to; and that these things hold them back from fully experiencing life in the way that they could. There is so much good that each of us could do and experience – and so many people ‘just getting through’ life without actually learning to love it! The purpose of my career and this book is to spread as much hope as possible – and especially for me myself to actually practice what I preach and learn to live without fear holding me back.

So that is a little bit about me. The helicopter, the sheep, the whale shark and the book. Adventure, animals, nature and people. It’s only a snippet I know – but if you want more, you’ll just have to wait till the next speech!"

Have a great week Everyone!

Lexi x




Book News Update

Hi Friends!

If you're new to this blog post you might not know that I have recently written and published a book called "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope."

In my work as a counselor I have had the privilege of walking alongside many different people in their journeys of change. Everybody's story is different; but one thing that I hear over and over again are the patterns of negative thinking that keep people stuck in pain and patterns of unhealthy behavior. These 'lies' trap people in their pain - and cause them to feel isolated, sad, angry and worthless. Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope is about exposing these common patterns of thoughts and behavior; normalizing it and offering an opportunity for change. It uses poetry, art, photography and story to take the reader on a journey through pain to hope, future and community. 

Anyway, I think it's pretty great! And people who read it seem to think so too. All the profits from the sale of this book go straight back to help people struggling in emotional pain.

My struggle at the moment is marketing the book. Options for this in New Zealand are fairly slim. Many of the larger publishing houses and stores won't take it on if they haven't produced it themselves - or unless I have a well known 'name.' Quite often smaller stores are more than happy to take it - but this involves a LOT of legwork, lol!

What I'd love to ask everybody, is if you have any ideas - or if you have any contacts that I could touch base with - I'd be very grateful if you could leave a comment or contact me about it! Another thing that would really help is getting someone in the public arena to get behind the project and help drive it forward. Even if the answer to all of the above is no, I'd be so thankful if you could share this post on your timeline to help get the word around!

If you'd like to buy a book for yourself or someone else, just click on the button below. You can either pay through PayPal or bank transfer. I have boxes of books in England, Australia and the USA. If you're in or near any of those countries you only need to pay local freight charges!

I'm passionate about getting some hope to those that have none. I'd love your help on this journey!

Lexi x



We Are All Creators - Part 3

This is one of my first drawings at Art Group. We had to draw a small children's toy that our tutor had brought along. It's (obviously) far from perfect, but I had great fun doing it and was really proud of my efforts at the end. And my daughter loves him! :-)

Hi Folks!

How did we get to halfway through May already?? This week is the final week of my "We Are All Creator's" series. It's entitled "Good Vs. Perfect."

I can not tell you how many people that I've talked to that say "I can't do it - I'm not good enough" when it comes to doing something new. I have especially experienced this in the area of creativity - but it's certainly not limited to that! In Part 1 we discussed Black and White thinking: If I can't be great at it - I might as well not do it at all." Today I'd like to discuss the trap of Perfectionism.

The dictionary defines perfect as: "Excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement." Or: "Entirely without flaws, defects or shortcomings."

It sounds nice to think that I could be perfect at something - or to create something perfect, but then again........

I’m learning that what I create is good (regardless of its technical brilliance – or lack thereof). And that good is very different to perfect. Way better I reckon! Perfect means its finished, static, not moving any more. Good means it’s still able to change, get better, grow, journey. I think I like that a lot more. I like that what I create today might be ok already, but I know that I still have the potential to grow it into something different. Even if it’s not that great just yet – I have the ability to change and learn – and especially to invite other people into my learning.

Kinda like life too eh? We hold ourselves to these standards of perfection (which we can never possibly meet). But if we actually could get there – or reach the “ideal” – it’s never that great anyway because then it means it’s finished. Over. Not able to change and be new anymore. Not able to invite others into the journey of growing and changing together. Added to this, I believe it's the imperfections in life (the mistakes, the drama's, the challenging situations) that can actually result in the most growth, change, strength and beauty. We might not choose these challenges at the time - but we can choose to let them shape us into a person of greater depth, maturity and peace.

This is last week's effort. It's a sea-urchin shell - or Kina. I was so happy with how this one turned out - it's not Van-Gogh, but I'm proud of it! :-)

So whatever we do in a day, we can learn to acknowledge and champion our creativity. We can learn to recognise and love that uniqueness that we each bring to life - the things that make me different to you. We can do our best at something and then learn to appreciate and enjoy the 'goodness' of whatever we did - regardless of how technically brilliant it is. We can learn to enjoy and celebrate whatever others create, rather than comparing their work to our own; or falling back into the trap of self-condemnation.

And we can be comfortable about not being perfect at all this – because that would make us alien – not human.

Part of the beauty of this process for me is about acknowledging my weaknesses and allowing myself to be strengthened by others. This is relationship.

Would you like to join me in it?

Living in Aroha

Hi Friends!

Over the weekend I had the privilege of taking part in a Noho Marae Stay. This is where you get welcomed onto the Marae (Powhiri); you spend the day learning about and experiencing Maori culture (and EATING); then you spend the night together in the Whare Nui. There is so much I could say about what I experienced, but one simple thing really stood out to me – and that was Aroha. Most Kiwi’s will know that, loosely translated, Aroha means love. What I learned though, was that there was much more to it that that!

Aro is a verb. It means “to face, turn towards, take heed, take notice of, pay attention to, consider.” Ha is also a verb; it means “to breathe or taste.” So living in Aroha becomes much more than loving those closest to you. It asks you to live in an attitude of love. Whatever I turn my attention to, whoever I notice in my day, whatever I consider – I can choose to do it in love. And when I give my breath to something – my words, my actions, my focus, my intent; Aroha asks me to examine my motivation. Am I acting out of love? Or is it self interest, or greed or envy? When I taste and experience something in an attitude of Aroha, I give it my full attention, I am fully in the moment. Even in a situation that is not happy or positive I can still choose to live in Aroha – to interpret, experience and respond to the situation so I am mindful of loving myself, others and my environment.

Brilliant eh?

So lets get practical with this. Below are some questions that I have asked myself this weekend – and that I invite you to ask yourself too.

  • What have I got in my day today? No matter how mundane or exciting – how can I do it in an attitude of Aroha?
  • Have I got a conflict situation in my life at the moment? If I approached this situation with Aroha, would I do or say anything differently? If I choose to love, honor and respect both myself and the other person(s) what action might I take? Would I choose to forgive? Would I make the first move to reconcile? Would I choose to put in some boundaries? Would I choose to say ‘No”?
  • What has my internal dialogue been like this week? Do I talk to and about myself with Aroha? Or do I criticize, belittle and tear down? What simple actions could I take each day to treat myself with love?
  • What choices am I making this week to treat my world with Aroha? What products am I buying? What am I flushing down my drain? What am I throwing into landfill? What simple choices could I make this week to nourish and protect my planet?

Simple questions but also life changing if we let them!

I’d like to finish with a Whakatauki (Maori Proverb) I learned at the Marae. I believe it sums up what I’ve just written,

Pu ana Ki Roto (Originating from within)

Ke ana Ki Waho (It fills the outer)

Ka pu te Ruha (When wisdom emerges)

Ka hao te Rangatahi (Transformation occurs)

I Runga I te Aroha. (Upon the foundations of love).

Arohanui everybody!

Lexi x

Doubt Vs. Determination

So it’s been a while since my last post (again)! One of my goals for this year is to keep y’all in the loop a little more. Lately, this little Lady has been taking up a fair whack of my time. Her name is Piper and we’re fostering her for the next couple of months. Having a baby in the house again is certainly a bit of a shock to the system – but it’s also beautiful and crazy and messy and wonderful.

In this post I’d like to tell you about an experience I had the other day at a local art class I attend. I hadn’t been to the class for a while so it was great to catch up with people. The organisers have been incredibly supportive of me in the whole book creative process; so I took some books along to show them the finished product. Out of the blue I got the chance to stand up and do a quick 2 minute blurb about the book. At the time, I thought nothing of it. I handed some books around for people to have a look at and got back to my art project.

Then people started coming to me. One lady with tears in her eyes. Each had just flicked through the book and something had happened. It had touched them. It had spoken to ‘that hidden part within’ which holds their grief and pain. Most importantly it reminded them that they are not alone and that there is hope. Throughout that morning I got to sit and chat with people. They hardly knew anything about me and vice versa. But we connected; and at a much deeper level that usual. I left that day feeling quite overwhelmed – in a good way. I had been reminded of the need each of us has for connection and community. I was saddened by the amount of pain that people carry – and humbled that they would trust me enough to share it with me. Above all, I was amazed by the power of this little book!

I think I had begun to doubt a little. Is this really worth it? Have I wasted all this time and money? That morning reconfirmed for me the importance of what I’m doing. My doubt has turned into determination. I’m on the right track. I know this is important. I’m not sure where this project is going to take me but I’m 100% along for the ride!

Hope for Christmas

This is my good friend Grace displaying her copy of Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope. Thanks Grace for all your support and a particularly delicious lunch date!  

How did it suddenly get to be almost Christmas?? Things just seem to be getting more and more stressful and busy! I was talking to an American friend of mine the other day; she was telling me how much she was noticing the pace of our NZ December. In the States, they've had Independence day and they've celebrated Thanksgiving. Things are slowing down and people are relaxed and thinking about Christmas. In New Zealand we seem to do this manic "just survive till the 25th December" routine. We have the end of work, the end of school, Christmas presents to buy; everything's got to be done by Christmas. Then we can collapse and relax for a bit - hopefully! Not only is Christmas busy for people; for many it can be a time of anxiety, sadness and grief. It is a time where loss is more keenly felt; and the temptation to fall into unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviour is strong.

So I'm sitting here, on this Sunday afternoon; and I'm taking the chance to have a 'Selah'. To pause, breathe, reflect and just be still for a bit!

It's difficult!

I have to consciously slow down my mind. I have to put aside the million and one things I 'should' be doing.  But when I do's good. I get to notice all that's happening around me. I get to listen - really listen to my son when he's telling me about a Christmas show he's just been to. I get to sit and be thankful for a bit. I've got a lot to be thankful for!

Let me tell you a bit about the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope book project: So far, I haven't had a lot of time or energy to put into promoting the book. To be honest, the idea of self-promotion is a wee bit daunting to me! Despite my lousy efforts though - it's selling! Hardly a day goes by without me getting an email or a call from someone wanting a book. Often it'll be someone who's already brought a book and now wants to buy some more for family and friends. I was talking to a friend today who was reading it last night. She said she got to page 16 when her daughter pinched it off her and started reading too. Apparently it made a huge impact on them both and they had a great discussion for the rest of the evening. Now she wants four more to send to family around the world!

I'm so thankful for everyone who has taken up the vision for me and are promoting the book on my behalf! Mum and Dad, Nan and Pop, Janet and Ray, Grace, Andrea, Bev and so many others! Already I'm amazed at just how much bigger than me this thing is getting!

Here's some of the comments I've received so far:

".....Lexi it's astoundingly brilliant. Breaking lies and bringing truth. Every household should have one..."

"...I've just finished reading your amazing, beautifully written book. You should be incredibly proud of what you have created..."

"........we received your book and it is fabulous, so moving and profound.Thank you for all the work you put into producing a resource which I know will be significant and healing for many people."

Stunning eh? Honestly, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with the feedback from everyone. So THANK YOU!

So if you have someone you know that needs a little hope this Christmas - or if you need some yourself - might I suggest a little book I know of? :-) Even if the only words you remember from reading it are "...Pause....Breathe....." and it reminds to slow down and smell the roses for a bit, then it's done it's job!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Lexi x

P.S. For purchasing information you can visit the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope webpage. Scroll to the bottom for bank details. If you'd like to pay online with a Credit Card, you can visit:




Books are being Printed! Pre-Order your Copy Now!

Well, it's official! The first 1000 copies of "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" are being printed RIGHT NOW!! I can't believe there's nothing really left for me to do except wait for a pile of books to be delivered!
Thank you so much to everybody for your continued support and encouragement - without you I'd never be at this place!

I have a favour to ask you. I've run into some unforeseen extra charges with the design and printing of the book; (as the book has changed so has my original quote). If you are planning on buying a book, could I please ask you to pre-order your copy now? The books will be ready for distribution early October so it is really only a matter of weeks before you will get it.

If you are prepared to do this here is all the information you will need:

Book Cost: $24.95 NZD
Courier (NZ): $5.00 NZD (Rural Deliver $7.50)
If you are local, just let me know and I'll deliver it.
For International postage and payment options, please email me directly on:

NB: If you have already pre-ordered a book this post doesn't apply to you. I'll send you your book(s) soon as they arrive!

Bank Account Name: Voice of Hope
ANZ Warkworth: 01-0482-0057252-03

If you do deposit any money, please email me on to let me know you have done so. Please put your name in the deposit reference. If you need the book delivered, please include your postage details in the email.

If you have friends or family that you think may also be interested, I'd love for you to share or re-post this message!

I can't wait to hand you a copy of my book!

Much love,

Almost Ready to Print!!

Hi Friends!

This is the inside front cover of the book. To me it epitomises being fully present in the moment. Like a child dancing in the woods I am learning that I can find peace and joy even in the darkest of situations.

Once again it’s been a while since my last post – sorry about that!

I’ve got loads of exciting news to share about the book so I’ll give you two options. If you’re in a rush and just want the straight facts, read the bullet points below. If you want to know about the journey behind the facts – the extended version follows.

Here goes....

  • I have received an incredibly generous donation which means I now have the funds to self-publish the book!!!

  • I have sent out the book to a number of people that I don’t know to give me some honest feedback on their reaction to and thoughts about the book.

  • We are in the process of doing a final edit so the book will hopefully be ready to go to print within the month!

Here’s the low-down on what’s been happening the last couple of months:

So about a month ago I woke up to an email saying that a friend had just deposited $6,000 into my bank account! I emailed immediately to check that this wasn’t a mistake and to find out what the heck was going on! I got the following in reply: “We haven’t told anyone but we inherited some money that came through yesterday and instead of just tithing some of it we felt to give some money to causes we believed in; and that was your book. I think it will impact so many people, help people who are sick; but also help those who find it so hard to understand to have a glimpse in to the mind of the mentally ill. Your book needs to be published! Thank you for helping me through one of my toughest times and being understanding and non-judgmental and for doing the same for others!”


I think it is so beautifully poetic that the money I need should come from someone connected to me – someone who I have walked alongside – someone who has helped me to understand the ‘voices’ in this book. It has come from relationship. Exciting Eh?

So I had the money a month ago. Why isn’t the book published you may well ask!? This part has been a real process!

Shortly after the money arrived I found myself procrastinating. Avoiding the project. Being too busy to focus on it. It was very subtle but I finally managed to admit it to myself. I don’t know whether you know or not but procrastination is always fear based. So I sat myself down and asked myself what was going on. As it turns out there were two things worrying me. The first was this: Is the project ready for printing? Is it finished? This book has been such a process of growth and change. I was concerned that if I jumped into printing it straight away I might be going ahead with something that wasn’t quite ready. I was aware that this kind of thinking could be a bottomless pit of never getting anything finished; but when I actually examined my feelings about the whole thing I had to admit that there were some aspects of the book that I felt weren’t quite right. SO I did something about it. I sent the book off to people I didn’t know with a very specific set of questions for them to answer. These people were fantastic in giving me honest and very relevant feedback. While it’s been a bit of a harrowing process; I now feel I have the direction I need to get the project 100% ready for print. YUSS!

I have also come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be able to please everybody – and I’ve just got to go ahead with what I believe is right for me to do and say.

The second part of my procrastination was definitely fear-based. I was worried about what the publishing of this book might mean for my nice, comfortable little life. Like any step into the unknown, I was worried about the “what if’s.” What if it doesn’t work? What if it works? What if people don’t like the book? What if loads of people like it and then I have to take more steps out of my comfort zone? I know that the process of self-publishing takes a lot of self-promotion. I’m getting better at standing up and talking to people; but I’m definitely not a natural extrovert and find the thought of having to promote myself is more than a wee bit unnerving!

In the end I had to take a piece of my own advice. I took a Selah. I paused, breathed and brought my mind back to the present. I took myself to spiritual direction and got rid of lots of the mental clutter in my head. I accepted what I couldn’t change then made some positive decisions and worked out practical steps to accomplish the things I could. By no means am I comfortable with the whole process – but I’m gunna do it anyway!

The end result from facing my procrastination for me is excitement. I’m excited about the project again! I’m excited to see it finished. I’m excited about what it might bring.

Right now I’m in the final stages of editing and getting everything ready for print. I’m also trying to re-design the Selah introduction page to make it more explanatory and interactive for the reader. I’m giving myself the deadline of a month to get everything done that I need to get done. Hopefully I should have everything sorted by then – the rest depends on the designer and the printer. I’m praying I’ll have a beautiful book to hand you very soon.

Thanks so much to all those continuing to support and encourage me on this journey!

Much love,

Lexi x

New Book Layout!

Hi all! I'm so excited to announce that 'hot off the press' is the new book layout for Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope. Following feedback from people that had viewed the previous version, the common consensus is that the book was a bit dark. So the tricky process has been balancing getting the book to look "lighter" and "more hopeful" whilst still acknowledging the pain. We didn't want to take it too far and make it fluffy! So, after a bit of work we have an updated version of the book that I think looks stunning! Here's the new front cover:

The book has a completely different feel. Here's a comment from one of the first people to hold the demo copy of the new layout:

"I loved seeing the finished book. Now, several days later I can report that the "Pause and Breathe" pages are my lasting memory. Not that I have forgotten the rest - not at all - more that the repetitive nature of the words is the dominant feature; which I would say is a result! I am finding that those pages are popping into my mind at random times. The beauty of nature and the sunshine and the 'pause and breathe' all most-definitely inspire hope and change. The blackness falls away into the background and the light shines!"

Brilliant eh? I'm so thrilled that the book is already impacting people's lives - and it's not even printed yet! Speaking of getting the book printed, this is still the biggest obstacle we have yet to overcome! Getting the book designed (and then designed again) has pretty much depleted all my financial resources. If you have any ideas or contacts that could help me get the book printed I'd love to hear!

Once again, thanks so much for all your support! I can't wait for the day I can hand you an actual, properly printed copy of the book. It's not far off!

Lexi x



A Story of Hope!

It's so encouraging to hear the impact that Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope is having on it's readers. Please take the time to read the testimonial below. It's an incredible account of hope even in the toughest times. Enjoy!

Talakimoana's Story

In support of this amazing book I would like to share the impact it had on me as I flicked the pages, stared into the drawings and read the words of these true, real stories.

I had an image or picture of jail bars in front of me as the words came alive in my mind and in my heart. I started to feel the words as if it was me telling the stories. I started to feel the way I used to feel – especially during the times when I was locked up inside, looking out. (Jail).

Artist: Tessa Belgrave

When I was in jail I played many roles and wore many hats!  I automatically had a way of finding opportunities. I sold cigarettes and ran shop from my P119’s (shopping). It was a way of connecting with people, finding out the in's and out's; and it was something I knew how to do and do it well...Hussle!! I brought coffee, biscuits, barley sugars and other things that I could hussle with and I also knew some people couldn’t afford it, so I would sometimes just give them stuff for nothing...cause I could and cause it made me feel good when they looked shocked and surprised when I didn't want anything in return! Nobody did nothing or gave nothing for nothing!
I’d sometimes play mind games with them and make them think ‘you owe me’ but I’d let them get away with it or an opportunity to teach them a lesson (in a good or bad way…depending on how honest and real that person was). It was also a way of showing love and building a community as after all, we seemed to be a family inside looking out (Jail). As time went by I ended up using my shop to show comfort to the new intakes who had never been locked up before or especially the 'older-meant-to be-wiser' lot who thought they were invisible smoking that P and Chrystal Meth!! It's amazing what a cigarette and coffee can do to calm a person down.
I had the pleasure of meeting some really out of it people and hearty people. I ended up showing some of them the ropes and how the system worked inside looking out!

As I listened to the words and stories of these ladies who became my family, I started to realize that we were all living in a world of sadness, loneliness, brokenness, darkness, confusion, anger, frustration, self-pity, violence, pain, fear; and we all had something in common. We could relate to one-another because some of our choices and actions were mostly committed because of the pain we were trying to hide and cover up! 

Again because I ran shop I would have some ladies try their best to get invited into my room, some I would invite and we would sit have a coffee and exchange stories and before we knew it, we both knew certain people or circles and even incidents and events, not to mention dealings lol :-) One particular person felt secure in being in jail. She had been there for so long she didn’t want to leave. So after a while she sounded like a broken record and got on my nerves! So eventually I had to give her a hiding to wake her up. And afterwards I did her a favour and we all knew it even the officers and she soon realized it herself and so we started to fight for her way out into the real world.

As these flashbacks popped up as I read on, I remembered walking outside during yard time and hearing the pain of these ladies as they shared and exchanged stories some true and some just dreaming talking crap. I saw myself in the yard, walking around and around the grass area to keep fit  and playing volleyball with a hard basketball ball to try let out some steam and frustration out and also I was and trying to scan the place out in case I needed to escape if something happened to my children! This was all coming up because of this book.

I even remembered this one Sunday afternoon when I was in maximum security. I overheard the screws discussing the fact they were going to have to cancel this church group coming in that afternoon cause there were only 2 names put down to attend. I asked them what type of church group, of what religion. They told me 'A Pentecostal' group. I asked them not to cancel them as I'll gather some girls and we will attend as there isn't any other places we had to be at lol :) I wanted to meet some new people and see what these guys had to offer! Sure enough, I rounded a few girls and we fill the room. The screws were quite surprised and so were the Church group.  They had sung songs (I now know it's called 'Worship time') and shared a scripture. I had disagreed with something and so I shared how I felt about the scripture and about God. At that time I didn’t believe in God because of the experiences I’d had and I simply just didn't have any faith anymore. But for some strange reason, I started crying. As we started to talk and have discussions the other girls started sharing their thoughts and feelings, it was awesome! I remember this one chick who was quite hard, tough and staunch, she started speak up and share and even she started to cry. Before we knew it, there were a few of us weeping and we didn't care! At the end of our service the girls thanked me, especially that wanna-be-staunch one :-)
The presence of God was in that room and we didn’t even know it. We were all happy afterwards – it felt like a bloody Sunday that's for sure! God works in the darkest places and here we are - we don’t even know!
As I was getting towards the end of the stories, I started to feel the jail bars breaking down and light was coming back around me, I started to feel believing that this book is going to touch, encourage and inspire many lives to wanna change! This book gives HOPE to the hopeless and COURAGE to the weak!
It will impact lives of those who live in hidden closets to wanna start searching for the light!
The lost souls will begin to stir deep within and want to awaken because of the POWERFUL, REAL, TRUE STORRIES of women who were Fighters and Survivors and are NOW living a life of FREEDOM, LOVE, PEACE, JOY, FAITHFULNESS and ACCOMPLISHMENT!!
The impact of these true stories will be witnessed, I believe, in many Prisons, Rehabs, Women Centres, Mental institutions, Addiction programmes, University’s...but mostly Prisons!
As Women and Men read this book, they will relate, like I have and I believe they will want to search for the same outcome. Especially a willingness to want to find Identity, Belonging, Purpose, Trust and Love...just like I searched for most my life and I finally found my true real self through our Creator who we were created by His image, Worthy and of Royalty because I/WE are sons and daughters of the Most High King!

At the end of this book I was so inspired I felt encouraged to write this letter in support of my beautiful sisters who shared and of cause my lovely dear friend and sister in the Lord Alexis Waterhouse!

Artist: Tessa Belgrave

Book Release Update!

Hi Friends - good news! I am holding in my hot little hand one of the first copies of "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" ever printed! It looks AMAZING! I have printed six advance copies off to display this weekend at both Cloud Festival (in Albany, NZ) and Festival One (at Mystery Creek, NZ). I'll also send the others around the country (and the world) to others who are interested in the project. The idea is to generate pre-sales and donations so I can afford to do a proper print run! If you would like to secure your copy, please click on the Buy Now or Donate buttons on the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope tab on this website. Alternatively, you can use the bank account details on that same link to buy a book or donate to the project. Books cost $30 NZD including postage. If you are buying from overseas, please include some extra money for international post.

I can't wait for you to hold a book in your hands too!

Lexi x


Pre-Order or Donate & Book Update!

Hi Friends!

Sadly the Crowd Funding Campaign didn't go as well as planned. Even though we didn't reach our target, the whole process has certainly taught me a lot! There have been some awesome opportunities come up; and some brilliant contacts made. Thanks so much for all your efforts sharing the project with your friends and colleagues!

As you may know, because the crowd funding campaign didn't reach it's target, no money was taken out of the accounts of the pledgers. If you did pledge money, or you were planning to; please visit the "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" tab on this website and you can now pre-order the book or make a donation using Pay Pal.

Book Update:

Cycle of Abuse Background.

Currently the book is in with the Designer. Henoch of Creed Design is doing an incredible job of putting together all the artwork - and basically making it all look stunning! He's working on the "Pain" spreads at the moment. Here are some of the prototype backgrounds for the "Voices of Pain."

Anxiety and Depression Background

The "Words of Pain" will be written over the top of these images. The Translucent page with the artists' work will come out of the centre of the image. Because the page is translucent you will be able to read the "Words of Pain" through the image. 



These are definitely not "nice" images; but I believe they accurately describe the emotional, physical and spiritual pain people experience while suffering from Mental Health issues. Luckily, following each Pain page will be the "Selah" where we get to pause, breathe and re-align ourselves with Hope!

We are aiming to have all the design work finished by the end of November so the book can go to print early December. This will mean we will hopefully have copies ready for distribution by the end of January 2015! All this is dependent on how much money comes in; so please visit the "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" tab and pre-order or donate!

Thanks for your support!