Singular Focus

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were missing something? Or you talked to someone else and they described the situation completely differently? Have you ever got stuck in a mental or emotional groove of "just feeling" a certain way; or just interpreting events in a certain way? Feeling sad, feeling angry; feeling anxious, feeling attacked. Sometimes it might be about a certain person or problem. Other times it might feel like life in general is against you. I know I have!

What I have learned is that this can sometimes be an issue of focus. Let me show you what I mean.

Have a look around the room you are in. Or, wherever you are sitting just start to become aware of the colour green. Focus on green. There might be different shades – that’s great. Just find everything green in the room and memorise its location, shape or function.  Spend about a minute doing this.

Don’t read ahead until you’ve taken this first step.

Ok, once you’re done, close your eyes and map these areas out in your head. Remember where they are and what they look like. Try to just remember the items instead of looking around more.

Now, once you’ve got a clear picture of all the green objects in the room, shut your eyes again and tell me everything that is the colour RED.

Hard to do eh?

What you have just experienced is having a singular focus. When our brain is focussing on one area it’s very difficult for it to take notice of anything else. This is exacerbated if we have a particular emotion or interpretation attached to this focus.

Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to be writing a bit about what causes us to get stuck in these patterns of focus, interpretation and emotion.

In the meantime, I’d encourage you to take a moment and ask yourself, “Is there currently an area in my life that leaves me feeling a certain way?” “Are there certain recurrent feelings or behaviours that I attach to this area?”

Try and apply the simple exercise above to whatever it is you’re thinking about. “If the way I’ve been thinking about this ‘thing’ is all a shade of the colour green, what would it be like if I looked at this in a different way? A different colour? A different perspective or viewpoint? Even a different position?”

The way we focus has the potential to cause us a huge amount of pain or joy in our lives. Our focus is driven by our internal beliefs, our world view, our value systems, our cultural or religious norms; and more! It's one of those areas that the deeper we go, the more there is to learn and understand. I guess what I'd like you to ponder for this week is that there are reasons why we think and act and feel the way we do. There are reasons why we focus on certain things and interpret life in certain ways. The more self-knowledge we can gain in this area, the more we are able to live intentionally rather than reactively. This journey to deeper self-awareness is a journey of a whole lifetime. I certainly can't claim that my ramblings of the next couple of weeks will help you conclusively sort your life and the problems of the universe! But it'll hopefully help you on the journey that you're already on.

Let's see where we go from here.......!

Lexi x

Ice Breaker

Hi Everyone, I hope you had a fantastic weekend!

Today I realized that not only was I meant to be writing a blog post; I was also meant to be writing a 4-7minute icebreaker speech for Toastmasters tonight. So once I got over the panic of that - I finally figured that I could 'kill two birds with one stone' and inflict my speech on my blog readers! If you don't know about Toastmasters - it's an organisation that helps you learn to speak publicly with confidence (something I definitely need!). An Icebreaker is the first speech you have to do in the course. It's designed to help introduce yourself to the group and tell them about yourself. So here we go!

"Good Evening, Mr Toastmaster; fellow Members and Guests.

What do abseiling out of a helicopter, a crazy sheep named Theodore, scuba diving with whale-sharks and the journey from emotional pain to hope have in common? The answer, is me.

I’ve got five minutes to tell you a bit about me – so I thought I’d carry on with the picture theme from last meeting to help me do this.

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Abseiling out of a helicopter is about adventure. I love anything “outdoorsy” and used to volunteer for Civil Defence and Search & Rescue. I have these great memories of blasting around in a huge air force Iroquios helicopter and getting dropped in the bush to look for lost hikers. I grew up in West Auckland: (building huts, climbing trees and skateboarding with the neighbourhood tribe of kids), so I’ve always loved anything to do with being outside – especially if it involved doing something slightly risky!

In life I’ve learned that giving it a go is much better that being great at something. Saying “yes” to a new experience (not without fear of course) and giving it a go (even if I’ll never do it again) has taught me so much! It's also given me some pretty amazing experiences with some fantastic people in various locations around the globe.

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Theodore Spotty Dots is an orphaned lamb that we rescued. He represents my love of animals – as well as my seeming inability to set any boundaries with them! We bottle fed Theo until he was weaned; but by then he thought he was a human – and therefore fully entitled to barge into the house and sit on the couch. Not ideal. Luckily now he’s much too fat to squeeze his way through the fence anymore, so my couch – and my garden are safe. Animals have always been very important to me. They help me to feel peaceful and grounded in the moment (except, of course when I’m screaming at them for trampling my garden and peeing behind the curtains).

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Scuba Diving with Whale Sharks is a dream for the future. It represents my love of nature and adventure; but also my concern for our planet. I’d love to do this – gliding along beside these beautiful giants! Wouldn’t that be incredible??

But the thought of them slowly being wiped out by overfishing and pollution makes my guts hurt. Did you know that pieces of plastic outnumber sea life in our oceans now by about 6-1? And that each piece of plastic takes about a million years to biodegrade? Even recycling doesn’t get rid of it – it just makes it smaller (and easier for these beautiful animals to ingest!)

Alright, Breathe……Rant over…….(But PLEASE try and minimise your use of plastics – and dispose of them carefully when you are done with them!)

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The Journey from Emotional Pain to Hope represents my job as a counsellor; and also this book that I have written. I am passionate about helping people to move from places in their lives where they are stuck in cycles of pain, repetitive negative thoughts and behaviour. The tag line on my business card says “Unlock your Potential.” I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but I honestly believe that there are people everywhere walking around holding onto grief and pain and hurt and shame that they don’t need to; and that these things hold them back from fully experiencing life in the way that they could. There is so much good that each of us could do and experience – and so many people ‘just getting through’ life without actually learning to love it! The purpose of my career and this book is to spread as much hope as possible – and especially for me myself to actually practice what I preach and learn to live without fear holding me back.

So that is a little bit about me. The helicopter, the sheep, the whale shark and the book. Adventure, animals, nature and people. It’s only a snippet I know – but if you want more, you’ll just have to wait till the next speech!"

Have a great week Everyone!

Lexi x

Book News Update

Hi Friends!

If you're new to this blog post you might not know that I have recently written and published a book called "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope."

In my work as a counselor I have had the privilege of walking alongside many different people in their journeys of change. Everybody's story is different; but one thing that I hear over and over again are the patterns of negative thinking that keep people stuck in pain and patterns of unhealthy behavior. These 'lies' trap people in their pain - and cause them to feel isolated, sad, angry and worthless. Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope is about exposing these common patterns of thoughts and behavior; normalizing it and offering an opportunity for change. It uses poetry, art, photography and story to take the reader on a journey through pain to hope, future and community. 

Anyway, I think it's pretty great! And people who read it seem to think so too. All the profits from the sale of this book go straight back to help people struggling in emotional pain.

My struggle at the moment is marketing the book. Options for this in New Zealand are fairly slim. Many of the larger publishing houses and stores won't take it on if they haven't produced it themselves - or unless I have a well known 'name.' Quite often smaller stores are more than happy to take it - but this involves a LOT of legwork, lol!

What I'd love to ask everybody, is if you have any ideas - or if you have any contacts that I could touch base with - I'd be very grateful if you could leave a comment or contact me about it! Another thing that would really help is getting someone in the public arena to get behind the project and help drive it forward. Even if the answer to all of the above is no, I'd be so thankful if you could share this post on your timeline to help get the word around!

If you'd like to buy a book for yourself or someone else, just click on the button below. You can either pay through PayPal or bank transfer. I have boxes of books in England, Australia and the USA. If you're in or near any of those countries you only need to pay local freight charges!

I'm passionate about getting some hope to those that have none. I'd love your help on this journey!

Lexi x

We Are All Creators - Part 3

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This is one of my first drawings at Art Group. We had to draw a small children's toy that our tutor had brought along. It's (obviously) far from perfect, but I had great fun doing it and was really proud of my efforts at the end. And my daughter loves him! :-)

Hi Folks!

How did we get to halfway through May already?? This week is the final week of my "We Are All Creator's" series. It's entitled "Good Vs. Perfect."

I can not tell you how many people that I've talked to that say "I can't do it - I'm not good enough" when it comes to doing something new. I have especially experienced this in the area of creativity - but it's certainly not limited to that! In Part 1 we discussed Black and White thinking: If I can't be great at it - I might as well not do it at all." Today I'd like to discuss the trap of Perfectionism.

The dictionary defines perfect as: "Excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement." Or: "Entirely without flaws, defects or shortcomings."

It sounds nice to think that I could be perfect at something - or to create something perfect, but then again........

I’m learning that what I create is good (regardless of its technical brilliance – or lack thereof). And that good is very different to perfect. Way better I reckon! Perfect means its finished, static, not moving any more. Good means it’s still able to change, get better, grow, journey. I think I like that a lot more. I like that what I create today might be ok already, but I know that I still have the potential to grow it into something different. Even if it’s not that great just yet – I have the ability to change and learn – and especially to invite other people into my learning.

Kinda like life too eh? We hold ourselves to these standards of perfection (which we can never possibly meet). But if we actually could get there – or reach the “ideal” – it’s never that great anyway because then it means it’s finished. Over. Not able to change and be new anymore. Not able to invite others into the journey of growing and changing together. Added to this, I believe it's the imperfections in life (the mistakes, the drama's, the challenging situations) that can actually result in the most growth, change, strength and beauty. We might not choose these challenges at the time - but we can choose to let them shape us into a person of greater depth, maturity and peace.

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This is last week's effort. It's a sea-urchin shell - or Kina. I was so happy with how this one turned out - it's not Van-Gogh, but I'm proud of it! :-)

So whatever we do in a day, we can learn to acknowledge and champion our creativity. We can learn to recognise and love that uniqueness that we each bring to life - the things that make me different to you. We can do our best at something and then learn to appreciate and enjoy the 'goodness' of whatever we did - regardless of how technically brilliant it is. We can learn to enjoy and celebrate whatever others create, rather than comparing their work to our own; or falling back into the trap of self-condemnation.

And we can be comfortable about not being perfect at all this – because that would make us alien – not human.

Part of the beauty of this process for me is about acknowledging my weaknesses and allowing myself to be strengthened by others. This is relationship.

Would you like to join me in it?

We Are All Creators - Part 2

Happy Monday Everybody!

This weekend I got to be a part of celebrating my niece’s 9th birthday. Aside from the usual family craziness that is normal for us when all the cuzzies get together (nine of them ranging from 2-15yrs), we had a beautiful moment that I’d like to tell you about. It was a moment of creation.

My Brother and Sister-in-Law have made this brilliant tradition that whenever we celebrate a family birthday, we sit the person (whose special day it is) in the middle of the family group and we speak good words over them. We tell them what we love about them, encourage them, praise them, build them up; honour them. It is truly wonderful. The child or adult might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but is always an incredible time. 

I believe this is a powerful moment of creation. Where we get to pause, acknowledge and call out the good in an individual. We get to push against the tide of our busy lives to mark a moment and pour life into an individual’s identity. We have used our words to purposefully help create wholeness and strength in a person. All in the middle of a crazy family Sunday evening!

I know that a birthday only comes up once in a year; and that that was a special moment. However, I think we can all have these special moments of creating joy in our lives EACH DAY. I watched a great movie last night that had the following theme to it: We all have the capacity to be happy. But it is more than our right – it is our obligation. The world needs us to be happy. Not a delusional, unrealistic happy; but a grounded, deep sense of joy despite the circumstances' type of happy.

Many of us fall into the trap of rushing through life. We move too fast. Our lives are cluttered or distracted by all the ‘stuff’ we have to do. I’m learning to slow down and notice the details. Enjoy the moments that only I might see. That flower that was in bloom just when I walked past. That cheeky smile on my daughters face that no-one else was there to witness. Our little puppy bouncing around in crazy doggy madness. Beauty. All around us. That we miss ALL the time.

I can learn to be a witness and participant in this beauty; and I can let it create in me a joy that sticks regardless of the circumstances. OR I can rush along and miss it all. Get caught up in the speed of modern life. Get stuck up in my head thinking about all the stuff I should be doing. Stuck in negative thinking or anxious thinking. This thinking is destructive to everything. Myself, others and my environment.

So today I invite you to look out for those moments of beauty. Pause and celebrate them. Contemplate them until the wonder creates space in your day. Or take a moment to intentionally speak life to somebody. Maybe it’s another person. Maybe it’s yourself.

Let’s all create a bit of beauty in our lives this week and see what happens. I’d love to hear your stories!

Lexi

We Are All Creators

For the past year or so I’ve been doing my best to get to a local art group on Friday mornings. It’s kind of my ‘self-care’ day where I do something just for me. It’s great! For most of my life I have loved art and wished I could be better at it. But any time I tried I didn’t like the results I got. I couldn’t paint or draw what was in my head. Or not well enough for my liking anyway. (Did I take the time to learn and practice and get better? Course not!) So I put art to the side and told myself I wasn’t creative enough. “Obviously it’s just not my thing.”

Have you ever heard of Black and White thinking before? Basically it means that if it’s not one thing it’s the opposite. If I can’t be excellent at something – I must be 'no good' at it. Being 'no good' at something is usually not ok so I might as well not do it all – just in case I might be seen as a failure – or not good enough. See how it works?

So, if you’re anything like I was, you might be going through life with all these things that you would have loved to do – or at least given a try; but you haven’t – because you tell yourself that you can’t do it, or you probably won’t be able to do it – so why bother trying at all?

Life becomes “safe” because you’ve got into the habit of just doing the things that you know you can do already.

Safe is comfortable.

Don’t get me wrong, a little bit of comfort is not a bad thing at all! However, if we are keeping ourselves comfortable because of internal beliefs that say something like “if I try and fail then I might not be good enough - a failure” then that’s a lot less ok!

Anyway, back to Art Group. I am learning that I am a Creator. Everything about me is Creative. Creativity is not at all confined to art – although art is an excellent outlet for creativity. Everything I put my hand to, I can do creatively. Because there is only one of me – only I can do the things I can do. Only I have the knowledge, background, experience and talent to do what I can do the way I can do it. Whatever I do is unique and creative because only I can do it like this. It’s the same for you – all of us!

At the very deepest level, I believe we are creators of our daily existence. I’m not meaning this in narcissistic self-deifying way. But actually, on another level we do have the ability to create life or death within our own lives – and in the world around us. Each day the thoughts I choose create a physical, emotional and behavioural reaction in me that affects everything I do. In every situation (good or not so good) that crosses my path I can choose how I react. Will I react out of fear, guilt, anxiety, shame or bitterness – or will I act with dignity and self-respect and love (for myself, others and the environment)? The way I choose to think and act not only affects my physical, emotional and spiritual state; it also affects everything around me. I can bring a little bit of light or a little bit of darkness to the world. Bit by bit we can influence our environment by just choosing to ‘Be’ a certain way.

So somehow, my going to art class has turned into me changing the world. (Maybe I am a little narcissistic after all!) I think what I’m getting at is that there is SO much more going on in our lives and this world than what we can see with our eyes. Modern science is just beginning to show us this. You just have to google neuroscience or particle physics or molecular biology to see just how intricately we are connected to one another and our world.

What I have decided is that I want to consciously impact my little slice of this planet for the better. I want others and the Earth to be better off for my presence here – rather than the other way around. I understand that I am a creative being regardless of whether I choose to acknowledge it or not – and I want to learn to create positive things with my words and actions.

So how do I do this? Well that's a much larger discussion isn't it!? I guess this blog is my invitation to you to enter into this discussion too. I'd love to hear your comments or reflections.

What shall we create today?

Lexi x

Magic, Thoughts and Quantum Physics

I admit it, I’m one of those strange people that loves to re-read books that I’ve read and enjoyed time and time again. Especially stories that were meaningful to me when I was younger. This week, in a fit of nostalgia, I read a book that I loved as a child: “The Secret Garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett. It's about a young girl named Mary who grew up in India with unloving and disinterested parents. This created in her a hurt and anger that resulted in antisocial and arrogant behaviour that further pushed people away. The story tells of how she gradually learned to live, love and experience wonder; and then invite others into this healing process too. The story is set in a forgotten garden – where things that looked dead were actually dormant and “wick:” alive and just waiting for the chance to grow.

In the story, Mary and her friends learn to use what they call “Magic.” By this they mean the intention or energy of their thoughts - or the greater Intention that causes growth and change, the force that can turn a small seed into a huge tree; that causes the rising and setting of the sun. Mary’s friend Colin says:

“Sometimes, since I’ve been in the garden, I’ve looked up through the trees at the sky and I have had a strange feeling of being happy; as if something was pushing and drawing in my chest and making me breathe fast. Magic is always pushing and drawing and making things out of nothing. Everything is made out of magic: leaves and trees, flowers and birds, badgers and foxes and squirrels and people.” They learned about the “Good Thing” or the “Joy Maker” that is the source of the magic.

Mary and her friends discovered that the way they focus their intention – their thoughts, words and actions – directly affects the way the “magic” is able to work in their lives:

“…One of the new things people began to find out in the last century was that thoughts--just mere thoughts--are as powerful as electric batteries--as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison. To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in you may never get over it as long as you live.

So long as Mistress Mary's mind was full of disagreeable thoughts about her dislikes and sour opinions of people and her determination not to be pleased by or interested in anything, she was a yellow-faced, sickly, bored and wretched child. Circumstances, however, were very kind to her, though she was not at all aware of it. They began to push her about for her own good. When her mind gradually filled itself with robins, and moorland cottages crowded with children, with queer crabbed old gardeners and common little Yorkshire housemaids, with springtime and with secret gardens coming alive day by day, and also with a moor boy and his "creatures," there was no room left for the disagreeable thoughts which affected her liver and her digestion and made her yellow and tired.

 So long as Colin shut himself up in his room and thought only of his fears and weakness and his detestation of people who looked at him and reflected hourly on humps and early death, he was a hysterical half-crazy little hypochondriac who knew nothing of the sunshine and the spring and also did not know that he could get well and could stand upon his feet if he tried to do it. When new beautiful thoughts began to push out the old hideous ones, life began to come back to him, his blood ran healthily through his veins and strength poured into him like a flood. His scientific experiment was quite practical and simple and there was nothing weird about it at all. Much more surprising things can happen to anyone who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time and push it out by putting in an agreeable determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place."

"Where, you tend a rose, my lad, A thistle cannot grow."

I think this is profound – to say the least! And what I love is that science is now able to articulate what this book described when it was first published in 1910. Neuroscientists are discovering how negative thinking affects our brain. Our thoughts aren’t intangible or ephemeral, they have weight and substance. They are actually electrical impulses that create neural pathways in our brain. Positive thoughts release positive ‘feel good’ chemicals whilst negative thoughts do the opposite. These chemicals affect every cell in our bodies. Constant, negative thinking results in bio-toxins leaching out into our tissues creating illness – both physical and emotional. The good news is that because our brains are constantly changing and growing, we can influence and direct this process by actively choosing what we allow into our mind. I can’t stop thought’s popping in – but I can choose whether or not to hold onto them and believe them. Where I choose to focus my intent, my energy and my thoughts will directly affect how my brain, body and emotions will respond.

So let’s take the ‘magic’ to an even deeper level. I was listening to a podcast the other day about Quantum Physics. It totally blew my mind, to say the least! I was so fascinated I googled the topic to see if I could find out any more information. Bad idea on my part. I couldn’t even understand the “Quantum Physics for Dummies” page! The complex mathematical equations made my mind boggle! I think I’ll just stick to the “English” version from the podcast. Here’s some snippets:

“You, at your core are made up of these tiny little building blocks of matter called Atoms. Atoms are made up of smaller particles that are, in essence, swirling patterns of energy. They have identified sub-atomic particles that just come into existence – they don’t know where from. They have identified one particle that can be in two different places at the same time. They have identified particles that can leave point A and appear at point B without travelling the distance in between!”

These atoms make molecules and the molecules build cells. The cells that make up our bodies are constantly dying and being reborn. In fact, our whole body is renewed once every eight years or so! Incredibly, the atoms that make up "me" are not new. They have been around a LONG time. They have made up other things – and other people.  

“You then, are like a pattern, a consistent, continuous physical pattern moving through space and time. You are this strange, exotic, highly tuned, finely calibrated collection of particles that used to be someone or something else and will go on to be something or somebody else, and yet, I just said that sentence and you just heard about it, and now you’re thinking about it. You’re reflecting on your own existence. So you are like this bag of bones and hair and skin and toenails and yet you also have the ability to reflect upon your own existence. You have consciousness.”

Isn’t that incredible!! If you’d like to hear the whole episode, just click this link: http://robbell.podbean.com/e/episode-5-atoms-and-interiors/

So there is this magic. It’s in everything. There are our thoughts, which can change our physical, emotional and spiritual state. There are the atoms that make up everything that exist; and that connect us all in ways we are only just beginning to understand. There are sub-atomic particles that are ‘magical’ in nature because no-one has a clue how they work. And there is this consciousness we each have that is more than our atomic structure, which transcends our ability to comprehend it. This consciousness makes me “Me” as opposed to you “You” – even though we share the same atomic structure.

So where am I going with all this? I’m not sure – I keep getting lost in the wonder of it all. And maybe that’s the whole point!

I guess what I’m wanting to say is that there is SO much more going on in this world, in our lives, than meets the eye. And it is Good! It’s exciting, it’s extraordinary! So if you’re stuck in what you can see at present – and if what you are seeing and experiencing in your world is predominantly negative or sad or fearful or mad; then please take some hope from this ramble!

You are not powerless or hopeless. You have the ability to change your cellular structure by the way you choose to think and focus your intention or energy! You are a Superhero!

Why not spend some time each day contemplating something positive? Lie on the grass and look at the details around you. Focus your attention on something beautiful that you see and notice as much about it that you can. Use your senses. Allow yourself to be lost in wonder – then linger in that moment. Focus on a positive comment from a friend; or a happy memory. Allow it to wash over you. Feel how your body responds to praise and positivity. Cuddle a cat or a small child. If intruding thoughts pop in just let them float away like a leaf on a river. Focus again on something good.

Practice, Practice, Practice; and ENJOY!

Lexi

Gift With Purchase - Hope Reflective Journal

Hi Friends!

I am in the process of writing a reflective journal to be used alongside the book Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope. Instead of printing a whole new book, I'm thinking of making a PDF file that people can download and print to aid them in a deeper self-reflective process. The idea is that it will be a Gift With Purchase for anyone who buys the book. If you have already brought the book and would like a copy when it's done - just email me and let me know.

While I have a lot of the content sorted, I'm still making decisions about the format and type of journal. For example, should it be a day by day style, or rather a more question or concept based format? Because the book is so creative and different, I'd like to keep the journal in this style also.

So the reason I'm writing this is to ask you if you have any ideas or suggestions for me? Here's some questions I'd love you to consider:

• If or when you have read Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope, did it leave you with any questions that you'd like answers to - or topics that you'd like to explore deeper?
• If you have had reflective-type guides / journals in the past, what was helpful about them and whatdidn't you like?
• Do you have any other comments or suggestions that could help?

Please feel free to comment in the "comments box" or otherwise email me at: info@freedom.ac.nz if you would prefer your comments to be private.

Have a fantastic week everybody!

Lexi

Let me tell you a story about stickers...

Hi Friends, I’ve got an interesting story to tell you today! Funnily enough, it’s a story that is metaphorical of our journey of change: excitement, disappointment, grief, hope, hard work and discovery. It’s a bit of a read so grab yourself a cuppa, put your feet up and relax for a bit!

If you have a copy of Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope you’ll notice that on each Selah Page, there is a sticker. These stickers weren’t an original part of the book. They’ve been added post-printing. Let me tell you why.

Last December I had a delivery of 1000 books to my door. A year and a half of hard work, sacrifice, excitement, disappointment, determination and hope had FINALLY ended with my beautiful book in my hand. It was perfect – more than I ever hoped it could be. I was ecstatic! I gleefully started sending it out to people who had pre-ordered as well as friends and family who had supported me throughout the project. The feedback I received was excellent – people loved it!

A few nights later I received a phone call from my friend Grace. She had been reading the book to her daughter and discovered a few spelling mistakes…….did I know about these? No I didn’t!

On two of the Selah pages there were some glaringly obvious grammatical errors. I was devastated! My perfect book wasn’t perfect any more. It was flawed. How could I sell this to people? How could I promote it knowing that it had these mistakes in it? What was I going to do with the 1000 books sitting in my garage? How was I going to recover the costs that I had outlaid?

How had this happened you ask? Good question.

When the book went to print, I was at a conference in Australia. I was distracted and communication with my designer was difficult. But the process that had taken so long had an end in sight! I had a deadline I was trying to work towards (a book show where I could launch the book at) so our time margins were slim – especially as I was getting the book printed offshore and had to factor in shipping times. The final step was to get the book proof-read and colour checked. The guy we originally were going to get to do this was unavailable so we found another and I thought it was all sorted. What I totally missed was that the new guy only did the pre-print colour checking – not the proof reading. Proof reading is very important. When you know the project inside out you aren’t able to look at it with an unbiased eye. You see what you know should be there – rather than what is actually there. And so these mistakes were missed – and the book was printed.

Lesson #1 from this process. Never rush things that are important. Make the time to do it right.

Back to the story. Devastation. Depression. Frustration. A sick feeling in my gut. What was I going to do? People told me not to worry – most people wouldn’t even notice the mistakes! But I knew that many would; and I wouldn’t feel comfortable promoting a product that I knew was flawed. It just so happened that the two mistakes were on the pages with the least writing – the pages where the flow of words was most important. I couldn’t just leave it.

Lesson #2: Never let shame keep you stuck. One of my first reactions to the mistakes in the book was shame. I was afraid to tell people what had happened. I wanted to hide the books away and avoid the world. So I moped for a bit but I knew I couldn’t let myself stay there. I had to find my hope again and climb out of the hole I’d put myself in.

Here’s how it happened.

Out of this place of hopelessness came the idea of stickers. I just happen to have a designer who is a creative genius. Why not get him to make something to cover up the mistakes? And so the sticker journey started. At the beginning it was a bit of a pipe dream – a last-ditch attempt to cover a mistake. What it turned into, however was a new and beautiful feature of the book; not to mention an awesome story!

The mistakes were on the Selah pages so we decided to make seven stickers – one for each Selah – for continuity. That makes seven stickers in each book, that’s 7000 stickers! They would have to be manually added to each book. Each would cost money to produce. Ouch.

So we created some stickers. Henoch (my designer from Creed Creative Services) has this incredible ability to just draw something beautiful in a ridiculously short period of time. He designed a sticker that would correspond to each Selah page. You can see the originals throughout this blog post.

And I got a quote. It was going to cost me between $700 - $1000 to get these stickers printed. But that’s ok - It was going to be worth it. Just before I confirmed the order Henoch advised me to get another quote from a different company – just in case. So I emailed Kevin at Presson Labels .  I didn’t tell him anything about myself or the project, just that I needed 7000 stickers printed. I got an email back a day later saying that yes, he can make these stickers for us but that he would do it at no charge! All he would require in return is two books to give to people in his life he knows that need them!! How cool is that?? He had obviously looked at my website and read up about the project on his own accord. So not only was I going to get the stickers printed; I was getting them printed for free! Even though the project turned out to be much bigger than anticipated, Kevin still honoured his offer and did them at no charge. I was totally blown away!

Lesson #3 Commitment Holds Power. “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!” Goethe. When you make a decision, set your mind to it and start moving – things happen.

A week or so later I had 7000 stickers in my hot little hands. They were brilliant! What’s more, they actually added something new and beautiful to the book. The Selah pages are about mindfulness. Using your senses to ground you in the moment. The stickers on each page have become another sensory experience to the book. Sometimes, when I watch people reading these pages, their eyes read the words but their fingers ‘read’ the sticker. It’s brilliant to watch.

Lesson #4: “Never, never, never give up!” Winston Churchill. Often a situation seems hopeless; but we are only seeing with our own limited perspective. What if an answer, a new opportunity or something beautiful is just around the corner? This is the creative genius of God – that He can turn a seemingly terrible situation into something that is better than the original!

Now there is one problem left. Sticking 7000 stickers onto 1000 books. They’re tricky. They’re sticky. It takes a LOT of time! If you don’t know me, I’m the kind of person that tends to be very capable and self-reliant. I’m pretty good at getting things done on my own. Added to this was the afore-mentioned shame: “If I let people in on my secret – they might not think as much of me or the book anymore.” But this project of mine is about moving away from lies – towards hope and community. So I decided to reach out.

Lesson #5: Honesty, openness and sharing problems creates Community.  

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Admittedly, I did bribe them with a glass of wine or two; but when I put out a last minute request to some of the lovely ladies in my life, they responded. They gave up their Sunday night and came and stuck stickers into books with me. It was brilliant…Beautiful...Community. Here are some photos:

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So this is the Story of the Stickers! Something that was terrible has turned into something beautiful. Something that was a weakness has turned into something that strengthens and gives depth. Isn’t that a powerful metaphor for change!

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Someone asked me, “Will you put stickers in the next run of books you print?” If I’m honest, probably not. I’ll probably try and find some way of adding the sticker drawings in as a textural element in the actual printing process. Manually putting in 7000 stickers is just too much work!!

So if you have a book with stickers – consider yourself fortunate to have a limited first edition copy! If you haven’t got one yet – get in quick before they all run out!!

Lexi

Living in Aroha

Hi Friends!

Over the weekend I had the privilege of taking part in a Noho Marae Stay. This is where you get welcomed onto the Marae (Powhiri); you spend the day learning about and experiencing Maori culture (and EATING); then you spend the night together in the Whare Nui. There is so much I could say about what I experienced, but one simple thing really stood out to me – and that was Aroha. Most Kiwi’s will know that, loosely translated, Aroha means love. What I learned though, was that there was much more to it that that!

Aro is a verb. It means “to face, turn towards, take heed, take notice of, pay attention to, consider.” Ha is also a verb; it means “to breathe or taste.” So living in Aroha becomes much more than loving those closest to you. It asks you to live in an attitude of love. Whatever I turn my attention to, whoever I notice in my day, whatever I consider – I can choose to do it in love. And when I give my breath to something – my words, my actions, my focus, my intent; Aroha asks me to examine my motivation. Am I acting out of love? Or is it self interest, or greed or envy? When I taste and experience something in an attitude of Aroha, I give it my full attention, I am fully in the moment. Even in a situation that is not happy or positive I can still choose to live in Aroha – to interpret, experience and respond to the situation so I am mindful of loving myself, others and my environment.

Brilliant eh?

So lets get practical with this. Below are some questions that I have asked myself this weekend – and that I invite you to ask yourself too.

• What have I got in my day today? No matter how mundane or exciting – how can I do it in an attitude of Aroha?
• Have I got a conflict situation in my life at the moment? If I approached this situation with Aroha, would I do or say anything differently? If I choose to love, honor and respect both myself and the other person(s) what action might I take? Would I choose to forgive? Would I make the first move to reconcile? Would I choose to put in some boundaries? Would I choose to say ‘No”?
• What has my internal dialogue been like this week? Do I talk to and about myself with Aroha? Or do I criticize, belittle and tear down? What simple actions could I take each day to treat myself with love?
• What choices am I making this week to treat my world with Aroha? What products am I buying? What am I flushing down my drain? What am I throwing into landfill? What simple choices could I make this week to nourish and protect my planet?

Simple questions but also life changing if we let them!

I’d like to finish with a Whakatauki (Maori Proverb) I learned at the Marae. I believe it sums up what I’ve just written,

Pu ana Ki Roto (Originating from within)

Ke ana Ki Waho (It fills the outer)

Ka pu te Ruha (When wisdom emerges)

Ka hao te Rangatahi (Transformation occurs)

I Runga I te Aroha. (Upon the foundations of love).

Arohanui everybody!

Lexi x

Doubt Vs. Determination

So it’s been a while since my last post (again)! One of my goals for this year is to keep y’all in the loop a little more. Lately, this little Lady has been taking up a fair whack of my time. Her name is Piper and we’re fostering her for the next couple of months. Having a baby in the house again is certainly a bit of a shock to the system – but it’s also beautiful and crazy and messy and wonderful.

In this post I’d like to tell you about an experience I had the other day at a local art class I attend. I hadn’t been to the class for a while so it was great to catch up with people. The organisers have been incredibly supportive of me in the whole book creative process; so I took some books along to show them the finished product. Out of the blue I got the chance to stand up and do a quick 2 minute blurb about the book. At the time, I thought nothing of it. I handed some books around for people to have a look at and got back to my art project.

Then people started coming to me. One lady with tears in her eyes. Each had just flicked through the book and something had happened. It had touched them. It had spoken to ‘that hidden part within’ which holds their grief and pain. Most importantly it reminded them that they are not alone and that there is hope. Throughout that morning I got to sit and chat with people. They hardly knew anything about me and vice versa. But we connected; and at a much deeper level that usual. I left that day feeling quite overwhelmed – in a good way. I had been reminded of the need each of us has for connection and community. I was saddened by the amount of pain that people carry – and humbled that they would trust me enough to share it with me. Above all, I was amazed by the power of this little book!

I think I had begun to doubt a little. Is this really worth it? Have I wasted all this time and money? That morning reconfirmed for me the importance of what I’m doing. My doubt has turned into determination. I’m on the right track. I know this is important. I’m not sure where this project is going to take me but I’m 100% along for the ride!

Hope for Christmas

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This is my good friend Grace displaying her copy of Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope. Thanks Grace for all your support and a particularly delicious lunch date!  

How did it suddenly get to be almost Christmas?? Things just seem to be getting more and more stressful and busy! I was talking to an American friend of mine the other day; she was telling me how much she was noticing the pace of our NZ December. In the States, they've had Independence day and they've celebrated Thanksgiving. Things are slowing down and people are relaxed and thinking about Christmas. In New Zealand we seem to do this manic "just survive till the 25th December" routine. We have the end of work, the end of school, Christmas presents to buy; everything's got to be done by Christmas. Then we can collapse and relax for a bit - hopefully! Not only is Christmas busy for people; for many it can be a time of anxiety, sadness and grief. It is a time where loss is more keenly felt; and the temptation to fall into unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviour is strong.

So I'm sitting here, on this Sunday afternoon; and I'm taking the chance to have a 'Selah'. To pause, breathe, reflect and just be still for a bit!

It's difficult!

I have to consciously slow down my mind. I have to put aside the million and one things I 'should' be doing.  But when I do that......pause.......breathe.......it's good. I get to notice all that's happening around me. I get to listen - really listen to my son when he's telling me about a Christmas show he's just been to. I get to sit and be thankful for a bit. I've got a lot to be thankful for!

Let me tell you a bit about the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope book project: So far, I haven't had a lot of time or energy to put into promoting the book. To be honest, the idea of self-promotion is a wee bit daunting to me! Despite my lousy efforts though - it's selling! Hardly a day goes by without me getting an email or a call from someone wanting a book. Often it'll be someone who's already brought a book and now wants to buy some more for family and friends. I was talking to a friend today who was reading it last night. She said she got to page 16 when her daughter pinched it off her and started reading too. Apparently it made a huge impact on them both and they had a great discussion for the rest of the evening. Now she wants four more to send to family around the world!

I'm so thankful for everyone who has taken up the vision for me and are promoting the book on my behalf! Mum and Dad, Nan and Pop, Janet and Ray, Grace, Andrea, Bev and so many others! Already I'm amazed at just how much bigger than me this thing is getting!

Here's some of the comments I've received so far:

".....Lexi it's astoundingly brilliant. Breaking lies and bringing truth. Every household should have one..."

"...I've just finished reading your amazing, beautifully written book. You should be incredibly proud of what you have created..."

"........we received your book and it is fabulous, so moving and profound.Thank you for all the work you put into producing a resource which I know will be significant and healing for many people."

Stunning eh? Honestly, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with the feedback from everyone. So THANK YOU!

So if you have someone you know that needs a little hope this Christmas - or if you need some yourself - might I suggest a little book I know of? :-) Even if the only words you remember from reading it are "...Pause....Breathe....." and it reminds to slow down and smell the roses for a bit, then it's done it's job!

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Lexi x

P.S. For purchasing information you can visit the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope webpage. Scroll to the bottom for bank details. If you'd like to pay online with a Credit Card, you can visit: http://www.agirlcalledhope.org.nz/index.php/resources/online-store

Latest Book Release Update!

Hi Folks! I'm excited to announce that the full shipment of books arrives in NZ on the 11th of November. Pending customs clearance they will be available for release on the 12th! I had an advance box of books air freighted over (basically because I couldn't wait to see them) and these were all sold within the first two days! Unanimously the feedback has all been positive. Many people have requested extra books that they will give away to others! I can't tell you how exciting it is to see this dream of mine being realized!

If you'd like to purchase a book, please click on the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope tab on this website. Scroll to the bottom for payment details.

If you know of an organisation that might be interested in using the book as a resource, please email me on: info@freedom.ac.nz

Another great thing you can do to help is to go into your local library and request that they order in a copy of the book. (It is already on the National Library Database). This will generate sales as well as get the book more widely known.

Once again, I'd like to thank y'all for your continued support and encouragement! Without you this would not be possible!

Lexi x

Books are being Printed! Pre-Order your Copy Now!

Well, it's official! The first 1000 copies of "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" are being printed RIGHT NOW!! I can't believe there's nothing really left for me to do except wait for a pile of books to be delivered!
Thank you so much to everybody for your continued support and encouragement - without you I'd never be at this place!

I have a favour to ask you. I've run into some unforeseen extra charges with the design and printing of the book; (as the book has changed so has my original quote). If you are planning on buying a book, could I please ask you to pre-order your copy now? The books will be ready for distribution early October so it is really only a matter of weeks before you will get it.

If you are prepared to do this here is all the information you will need:

Book Cost: $24.95 NZD
Courier (NZ): $5.00 NZD (Rural Deliver $7.50)
If you are local, just let me know and I'll deliver it.
For International postage and payment options, please email me directly on: info@freedom.ac.nz

NB: If you have already pre-ordered a book this post doesn't apply to you. I'll send you your book(s) soon as they arrive!

Bank Account Name: Voice of Hope
ANZ Warkworth: 01-0482-0057252-03

If you do deposit any money, please email me on info@freedom.ac.nz to let me know you have done so. Please put your name in the deposit reference. If you need the book delivered, please include your postage details in the email.

If you have friends or family that you think may also be interested, I'd love for you to share or re-post this message!

I can't wait to hand you a copy of my book!

Much love,
Lexi

Almost Ready to Print!!

Hi Friends!

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This is the inside front cover of the book. To me it epitomises being fully present in the moment. Like a child dancing in the woods I am learning that I can find peace and joy even in the darkest of situations.

Once again it’s been a while since my last post – sorry about that!

I’ve got loads of exciting news to share about the book so I’ll give you two options. If you’re in a rush and just want the straight facts, read the bullet points below. If you want to know about the journey behind the facts – the extended version follows.

Here goes....

• I have received an incredibly generous donation which means I now have the funds to self-publish the book!!!

• I have sent out the book to a number of people that I don’t know to give me some honest feedback on their reaction to and thoughts about the book.

• We are in the process of doing a final edit so the book will hopefully be ready to go to print within the month!

Here’s the low-down on what’s been happening the last couple of months:

So about a month ago I woke up to an email saying that a friend had just deposited $6,000 into my bank account! I emailed immediately to check that this wasn’t a mistake and to find out what the heck was going on! I got the following in reply: “We haven’t told anyone but we inherited some money that came through yesterday and instead of just tithing some of it we felt to give some money to causes we believed in; and that was your book. I think it will impact so many people, help people who are sick; but also help those who find it so hard to understand to have a glimpse in to the mind of the mentally ill. Your book needs to be published! Thank you for helping me through one of my toughest times and being understanding and non-judgmental and for doing the same for others!”

Wow.

I think it is so beautifully poetic that the money I need should come from someone connected to me – someone who I have walked alongside – someone who has helped me to understand the ‘voices’ in this book. It has come from relationship. Exciting Eh?

So I had the money a month ago. Why isn’t the book published you may well ask!? This part has been a real process!

Shortly after the money arrived I found myself procrastinating. Avoiding the project. Being too busy to focus on it. It was very subtle but I finally managed to admit it to myself. I don’t know whether you know or not but procrastination is always fear based. So I sat myself down and asked myself what was going on. As it turns out there were two things worrying me. The first was this: Is the project ready for printing? Is it finished? This book has been such a process of growth and change. I was concerned that if I jumped into printing it straight away I might be going ahead with something that wasn’t quite ready. I was aware that this kind of thinking could be a bottomless pit of never getting anything finished; but when I actually examined my feelings about the whole thing I had to admit that there were some aspects of the book that I felt weren’t quite right. SO I did something about it. I sent the book off to people I didn’t know with a very specific set of questions for them to answer. These people were fantastic in giving me honest and very relevant feedback. While it’s been a bit of a harrowing process; I now feel I have the direction I need to get the project 100% ready for print. YUSS!

I have also come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be able to please everybody – and I’ve just got to go ahead with what I believe is right for me to do and say.

The second part of my procrastination was definitely fear-based. I was worried about what the publishing of this book might mean for my nice, comfortable little life. Like any step into the unknown, I was worried about the “what if’s.” What if it doesn’t work? What if it works? What if people don’t like the book? What if loads of people like it and then I have to take more steps out of my comfort zone? I know that the process of self-publishing takes a lot of self-promotion. I’m getting better at standing up and talking to people; but I’m definitely not a natural extrovert and find the thought of having to promote myself is more than a wee bit unnerving!

In the end I had to take a piece of my own advice. I took a Selah. I paused, breathed and brought my mind back to the present. I took myself to spiritual direction and got rid of lots of the mental clutter in my head. I accepted what I couldn’t change then made some positive decisions and worked out practical steps to accomplish the things I could. By no means am I comfortable with the whole process – but I’m gunna do it anyway!

The end result from facing my procrastination for me is excitement. I’m excited about the project again! I’m excited to see it finished. I’m excited about what it might bring.

Right now I’m in the final stages of editing and getting everything ready for print. I’m also trying to re-design the Selah introduction page to make it more explanatory and interactive for the reader. I’m giving myself the deadline of a month to get everything done that I need to get done. Hopefully I should have everything sorted by then – the rest depends on the designer and the printer. I’m praying I’ll have a beautiful book to hand you very soon.

Thanks so much to all those continuing to support and encourage me on this journey!

Much love,

Lexi x

New Book Layout!

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Hi all! I'm so excited to announce that 'hot off the press' is the new book layout for Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope. Following feedback from people that had viewed the previous version, the common consensus is that the book was a bit dark. So the tricky process has been balancing getting the book to look "lighter" and "more hopeful" whilst still acknowledging the pain. We didn't want to take it too far and make it fluffy! So, after a bit of work we have an updated version of the book that I think looks stunning! Here's the new front cover:

The book has a completely different feel. Here's a comment from one of the first people to hold the demo copy of the new layout:

"I loved seeing the finished book. Now, several days later I can report that the "Pause and Breathe" pages are my lasting memory. Not that I have forgotten the rest - not at all - more that the repetitive nature of the words is the dominant feature; which I would say is a result! I am finding that those pages are popping into my mind at random times. The beauty of nature and the sunshine and the 'pause and breathe' all most-definitely inspire hope and change. The blackness falls away into the background and the light shines!"

Brilliant eh? I'm so thrilled that the book is already impacting people's lives - and it's not even printed yet! Speaking of getting the book printed, this is still the biggest obstacle we have yet to overcome! Getting the book designed (and then designed again) has pretty much depleted all my financial resources. If you have any ideas or contacts that could help me get the book printed I'd love to hear!

Once again, thanks so much for all your support! I can't wait for the day I can hand you an actual, properly printed copy of the book. It's not far off!

Lexi x

A Story of Hope!

It's so encouraging to hear the impact that Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope is having on it's readers. Please take the time to read the testimonial below. It's an incredible account of hope even in the toughest times. Enjoy!

Talakimoana's Story

In support of this amazing book I would like to share the impact it had on me as I flicked the pages, stared into the drawings and read the words of these true, real stories.

I had an image or picture of jail bars in front of me as the words came alive in my mind and in my heart. I started to feel the words as if it was me telling the stories. I started to feel the way I used to feel – especially during the times when I was locked up inside, looking out. (Jail).

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Artist: Tessa Belgrave

When I was in jail I played many roles and wore many hats!  I automatically had a way of finding opportunities. I sold cigarettes and ran shop from my P119’s (shopping). It was a way of connecting with people, finding out the in's and out's; and it was something I knew how to do and do it well...Hussle!! I brought coffee, biscuits, barley sugars and other things that I could hussle with and I also knew some people couldn’t afford it, so I would sometimes just give them stuff for nothing...cause I could and cause it made me feel good when they looked shocked and surprised when I didn't want anything in return! Nobody did nothing or gave nothing for nothing!
I’d sometimes play mind games with them and make them think ‘you owe me’ but I’d let them get away with it or an opportunity to teach them a lesson (in a good or bad way…depending on how honest and real that person was). It was also a way of showing love and building a community as after all, we seemed to be a family inside looking out (Jail). As time went by I ended up using my shop to show comfort to the new intakes who had never been locked up before or especially the 'older-meant-to be-wiser' lot who thought they were invisible smoking that P and Chrystal Meth!! It's amazing what a cigarette and coffee can do to calm a person down.
I had the pleasure of meeting some really out of it people and hearty people. I ended up showing some of them the ropes and how the system worked inside looking out!

As I listened to the words and stories of these ladies who became my family, I started to realize that we were all living in a world of sadness, loneliness, brokenness, darkness, confusion, anger, frustration, self-pity, violence, pain, fear; and we all had something in common. We could relate to one-another because some of our choices and actions were mostly committed because of the pain we were trying to hide and cover up! 

Again because I ran shop I would have some ladies try their best to get invited into my room, some I would invite and we would sit have a coffee and exchange stories and before we knew it, we both knew certain people or circles and even incidents and events, not to mention dealings lol :-) One particular person felt secure in being in jail. She had been there for so long she didn’t want to leave. So after a while she sounded like a broken record and got on my nerves! So eventually I had to give her a hiding to wake her up. And afterwards I did her a favour and we all knew it even the officers and she soon realized it herself and so we started to fight for her way out into the real world.

As these flashbacks popped up as I read on, I remembered walking outside during yard time and hearing the pain of these ladies as they shared and exchanged stories some true and some just dreaming talking crap. I saw myself in the yard, walking around and around the grass area to keep fit  and playing volleyball with a hard basketball ball to try let out some steam and frustration out and also I was and trying to scan the place out in case I needed to escape if something happened to my children! This was all coming up because of this book.

I even remembered this one Sunday afternoon when I was in maximum security. I overheard the screws discussing the fact they were going to have to cancel this church group coming in that afternoon cause there were only 2 names put down to attend. I asked them what type of church group, of what religion. They told me 'A Pentecostal' group. I asked them not to cancel them as I'll gather some girls and we will attend as there isn't any other places we had to be at lol :) I wanted to meet some new people and see what these guys had to offer! Sure enough, I rounded a few girls and we fill the room. The screws were quite surprised and so were the Church group.  They had sung songs (I now know it's called 'Worship time') and shared a scripture. I had disagreed with something and so I shared how I felt about the scripture and about God. At that time I didn’t believe in God because of the experiences I’d had and I simply just didn't have any faith anymore. But for some strange reason, I started crying. As we started to talk and have discussions the other girls started sharing their thoughts and feelings, it was awesome! I remember this one chick who was quite hard, tough and staunch, she started speak up and share and even she started to cry. Before we knew it, there were a few of us weeping and we didn't care! At the end of our service the girls thanked me, especially that wanna-be-staunch one :-)
The presence of God was in that room and we didn’t even know it. We were all happy afterwards – it felt like a bloody Sunday that's for sure! God works in the darkest places and here we are - we don’t even know!
As I was getting towards the end of the stories, I started to feel the jail bars breaking down and light was coming back around me, I started to feel believing that this book is going to touch, encourage and inspire many lives to wanna change! This book gives HOPE to the hopeless and COURAGE to the weak!
It will impact lives of those who live in hidden closets to wanna start searching for the light!
The lost souls will begin to stir deep within and want to awaken because of the POWERFUL, REAL, TRUE STORRIES of women who were Fighters and Survivors and are NOW living a life of FREEDOM, LOVE, PEACE, JOY, FAITHFULNESS and ACCOMPLISHMENT!!
The impact of these true stories will be witnessed, I believe, in many Prisons, Rehabs, Women Centres, Mental institutions, Addiction programmes, University’s...but mostly Prisons!
As Women and Men read this book, they will relate, like I have and I believe they will want to search for the same outcome. Especially a willingness to want to find Identity, Belonging, Purpose, Trust and Love...just like I searched for most my life and I finally found my true real self through our Creator who we were created by His image, Worthy and of Royalty because I/WE are sons and daughters of the Most High King!

At the end of this book I was so inspired I felt encouraged to write this letter in support of my beautiful sisters who shared and of cause my lovely dear friend and sister in the Lord Alexis Waterhouse!

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Artist: Tessa Belgrave

Book Release Update!

Hi Friends - good news! I am holding in my hot little hand one of the first copies of "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" ever printed! It looks AMAZING! I have printed six advance copies off to display this weekend at both Cloud Festival (in Albany, NZ) and Festival One (at Mystery Creek, NZ). I'll also send the others around the country (and the world) to others who are interested in the project. The idea is to generate pre-sales and donations so I can afford to do a proper print run! If you would like to secure your copy, please click on the Buy Now or Donate buttons on the Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope tab on this website. Alternatively, you can use the bank account details on that same link to buy a book or donate to the project. Books cost $30 NZD including postage. If you are buying from overseas, please include some extra money for international post.

I can't wait for you to hold a book in your hands too!

Lexi x

Pre-Order or Donate & Book Update!

Hi Friends!

Sadly the Crowd Funding Campaign didn't go as well as planned. Even though we didn't reach our target, the whole process has certainly taught me a lot! There have been some awesome opportunities come up; and some brilliant contacts made. Thanks so much for all your efforts sharing the project with your friends and colleagues!

As you may know, because the crowd funding campaign didn't reach it's target, no money was taken out of the accounts of the pledgers. If you did pledge money, or you were planning to; please visit the "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" tab on this website and you can now pre-order the book or make a donation using Pay Pal.

Book Update:

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Cycle of Abuse Background.

Currently the book is in with the Designer. Henoch of Creed Design is doing an incredible job of putting together all the artwork - and basically making it all look stunning! He's working on the "Pain" spreads at the moment. Here are some of the prototype backgrounds for the "Voices of Pain."

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Anxiety and Depression Background

The "Words of Pain" will be written over the top of these images. The Translucent page with the artists' work will come out of the centre of the image. Because the page is translucent you will be able to read the "Words of Pain" through the image. 

These are definitely not "nice" images; but I believe they accurately describe the emotional, physical and spiritual pain people experience while suffering from Mental Health issues. Luckily, following each Pain page will be the "Selah" where we get to pause, breathe and re-align ourselves with Hope!

We are aiming to have all the design work finished by the end of November so the book can go to print early December. This will mean we will hopefully have copies ready for distribution by the end of January 2015! All this is dependent on how much money comes in; so please visit the "Voices of Pain and the Voice of Hope" tab and pre-order or donate!

Thanks for your support!

Lexi  

Crowdfunding Campaign is LIVE!!

Hi there,

Very exciting news: the Crowdfunding Campaign is NOW LIVE!

Please click on the below hyperlink and go to the pledge page. I'd love your support in this!

Visit: https://www.pledgeme.co.nz/projects/2474

Lexi